Letters to Whomever...

    I am officially "the last virgin", or at least one of them. This revelation occurred to me as my phone vibrated one lazy Saturday afternoon. It was a friend of mine, telling me he had finally lost his virginity. This friend, we'll call him Steven, had just turned in his V-card, and had been screwing like a hormonal jackrabbit ever since. Of course, this is nothing new. Nearly all of my friends had lost theirs and for a while, Steven and I were the lone virgins practicing common sense and self control in a world of (literal) fucking idiots.

    Virginity is a funny thing. It's normal for me, being a virgin, but it isn't for people who've lost it (even the people who have just lost it). I think it comes from (forgive me) music and television. Both venues express the "fact" that being a virgin is a bad thing, indirectly of course. To all of the virgins reading this: face it, we're a minority; an endangered species even. Just look at the negative media (which I love and hate to blame), the virgins are usually terrible conceived caricatures of nerds or children corrupted be the religious right. I'm neither (and neither is Steven for that matter) so it can get offensive.

    Why is it so bad to want to be a kid for a little while longer? Some the nyphos will even say "That's really good" when they learned that you haven't porked yet. How hypocritical is that? You can't preach what you don't practice and then go about your day like you've done nothing out of the ordinary. Not to sound pretentious, but when did sex become casual and virginity become taboo?