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#1: Sex: Virgins & the Nympho-media

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    I am officially "the last virgin", or at least one of them. This revelation occurred to me as my phone vibrated one lazy Saturday afternoon. It was a friend of mine, telling me he had finally lost his virginity. This friend, we'll call him Steven, had just turned in his V-card, and had been screwing like a hormonal jackrabbit ever since. Of course, this is nothing new. Nearly all of my friends had lost theirs and for a while, Steven and I were the lone virgins practicing common sense and self control in a world of (literal) fucking idiots.

    Virginity is a funny thing. It's normal for me, being a virgin, but it isn't for people who've lost it (even the people who have just lost it). I think it comes from (forgive me) music and television. Both venues express the "fact" that being a virgin is a bad thing, indirectly of course. To all of the virgins reading this: face it, we're a minority; an endangered species even. Just look at the negative media (which I love and hate to blame), the virgins are usually terrible conceived caricatures of nerds or children corrupted be the religious right. I'm neither (and neither is Steven for that matter) so it can get offensive.

    Why is it so bad to want to be a kid for a little while longer? Some the nyphos will even say "That's really good" when they learned that you haven't porked yet. How hypocritical is that? You can't preach what you don't practice and then go about your day like you've done nothing out of the ordinary. Not to sound pretentious, but when did sex become casual and virginity become taboo?

...from the earthquake in Haiti and spirituality.

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I've been a smidge angry at God about this earthquake business. I have a hard time believing in him as it is. I don't pray very often; not because I don't want to, but because (unfortunately) it very rarely crosses my mind. But I try. But since the earthquake, I haven't even been trying. I mean, I don't wanna blame God, but if he's the diety we praise him as he could've stopped it. I'm sort of troubled on the religion front already, but something's saying that this is reason to give up altogether. But I don't want to. I'd rather believe that there's a higher power looking out for me rather that just thinking that I'm on my own. It's just when things like this happen, it gets tough. I'm rambling...




...from 2010!!!

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Happy New Year from C.J. at Blacula's Got Crabs! Now I'm gonna play a lil' MK vs. DC on PS3!
 

...from 2009 (a Blacula's Got Crabs End O' The Year Moment list).

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This year, Blacula's Got Crabs from...
  • surviving sophomore year
  • attending a mentoring program with Steve Harvey in Dallas
  • my new group of friends (Gaelynn, Bri, Trey)
  • the old buddies (Harold, Vicky, Troy)
  • CAMP!!! in Minnesota
  • the family reunion in Myrtle Beach
  • Twitter
  •  hilarity from the Rihanna/Chris Brown issue
  • obsession over Rihanna's badass comeback
  • Gae's 17th B-Day (Ice Skated for the second time ever, didn't fall once --ROCK N ROLL--)
  • A V A T A R
  • The American Television Revolution that is Glee!
  • watching Daria and The MAXX (Good times...)
  • making fun of that horrible Jersey Shore
  • getting to see the first black Disney princess
  • watching Obama's first 100 days in office
  • ...and getting to see 2010. :D   

...from a first look at Disney's "Rapunzel"

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I've been slacking on the review front and my take on The Princess and The Frog will be up tomorrow. But, to tide you over, here's a look at 2010's "Rapunzel". The film stars Mandy Moore as the famous long-locked princess and Chuck's Zachary Levi as the dashing bandit/love interest. The synopsis is as follows:

Rapunzel, an action-packed, swashbuckling, animated musical comedy about the girl behind 70 feet of magical, golden hair. A princess stolen from her parents’ castle as a baby, Rapunzel (voice of Mandy Moore) is locked in a hidden tower longing for adventure. Now an imaginative and determined teenager, she takes off on a hilarious, hair-raising escapade with the help of a dashing bandit (voice of Zachary Levi). With the secret of her royal heritage hanging in the balance and her captor in pursuit, Rapunzel and her cohort find adventure, heart, humor, and hair… lots of hair.

Rapunzel will continue in the footsteps of The Frog, adding the first CGI princess to the official Disney Princess line up of Pocahontas, Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Snow White, Cinderella, Mulan, Ariel (The Little Mermaid), Jasmine (Aladdin), Belle (Beauty and The Beast), and Tiana (The Princess and The Frog).

"Almost There" - Anika Noni Rose (Tiana)

...from "A V A T A R"

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Wow. That's kinda my one word review for James Cameron's "Avatar". The hype has been building up for quite some time. James Cameron made this huge deal about not making this movie at the time that he wrote it because of the limited technology that was available. And now it's like:

"We have the technology. We can film it"


Okay, I know that was whack (note to self: No more "Six-Million Dollar Man" references). But, it did take like mad goo gobs of years to produce the technological monstrosity that is Avatar. The plot revolves around ex-marine Jake Sully (rising star Sam Worthington), a war-made cripple whose scientist twin brother dies, leaving open the ultimate job opportunity: to explore the vast, lush world of Pandora. Under the beautiful nature of Pandora lies a precious mineral with the fiction stock name of unobtainium. For this reason, space miners from Earth have come to harvest the mineral from the land.

Jake, among others, take over genetically altered avatar bodies to gain the trust of the indigenous population of blue humanoids, the Na'vi. He're where things get "Pocahontas-y", Jake meets the Na'vi's princess (the lovely Zoe Saldana) and falls in love. Lines are blurred and crossed in this epic space adventure that features gorgeous environments, fantastic creatures, and an old school villain reminiscent of the today's oil economy.

The special effects in this movie are just amazing. Cameron visually assaults you with the bright and colorful wildlife and agriculture of Pandora. The real kicker that packs Avatar's punch is the new motion capture technology that is used effectively in the film. The facial markers that help transfer the actor's real emotions onto the animated character is what really puts this film above the likes of Disney's recent motion capture venture A Christmas Carol.

The only downside was the recycled plot. But hey, even Hollywood has to go green at times. The whole movie did have a familiar vibe to it. The story's just been done, yet it works well beside fantastic performances by Sigourney Weaver and CCH Pounder (among others), uber effects, and a really nice theme by my favorite singer Leona Lewis. Another factor that benefited the film was its star Sam Worthington. I swear this guys gonna be the big thing in the 2010s. He's in like everything now and if he keeps giving us performances like this, I don't have a problem with it.

Avatar is proof that even though it's been 12 years since Titanic, Cameron hasn't lost his touch. Maybe if he wasn't such a b-word, we'd see more great films like this without the huge time gap. 4/5


"Thanator Chase"



...from MTV's current relavence and "Moonlight"

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I hate MTV. I really do I can't stand it. Now don't get me wrong, I used to love MTV back when it was Music Television. Now it's BSTV. No explanation needed.


Not that we didn't see the early signs of this when The Real World entered its 15th season, but hey. I remember when the actually played music on this so called "Music Television", not just 24 hours of stupid. I am one of few people in my demographic who haven't been sucked into the realm of retarded that is reality television. And I believe that MTV should have an entire week dedicated to it's old programming.

I'm talking:
  • TRL: Total Request Live
  • MTV Unplugged
  • Undressed
  • Undergrads
  • Jackass
  • Cribs
  • Daria
  • Æon Flux
  • The Maxx
  • Beavis & Butthead
Is it too much to ask for MTV to be decent and watchable again. I mean, seriously! JERSEY SHORE???! I wanna punch that Snookie chick. She sounds a characters from "the Snorks". Just take a good look at yourself, MTV. Daria and Jane would call you pathetic. *deep breath* There, rant's over.

Speaking of DARIA though, I have been watching the entire series for the past few days and it's bringing back nostalgic memories of MTV's glorious past. It kinda makes you yearn for the televised adolescent stimulation of yesteryear.

Well, in other news...

I've been working on a story for a while now, and it's just getting up and running in script form. It's called Moonlight and it's not patented so I'm not going to reveal story points. But, I can tell you that lycanthropy has a lot to do with it.

Here's an old MTV bumper featuring Cyndi Lauper and David Bowie. *I'm tearing up*