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...from 2010!!!

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Happy New Year from C.J. at Blacula's Got Crabs! Now I'm gonna play a lil' MK vs. DC on PS3!
 

...from 2009 (a Blacula's Got Crabs End O' The Year Moment list).

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This year, Blacula's Got Crabs from...
  • surviving sophomore year
  • attending a mentoring program with Steve Harvey in Dallas
  • my new group of friends (Gaelynn, Bri, Trey)
  • the old buddies (Harold, Vicky, Troy)
  • CAMP!!! in Minnesota
  • the family reunion in Myrtle Beach
  • Twitter
  •  hilarity from the Rihanna/Chris Brown issue
  • obsession over Rihanna's badass comeback
  • Gae's 17th B-Day (Ice Skated for the second time ever, didn't fall once --ROCK N ROLL--)
  • A V A T A R
  • The American Television Revolution that is Glee!
  • watching Daria and The MAXX (Good times...)
  • making fun of that horrible Jersey Shore
  • getting to see the first black Disney princess
  • watching Obama's first 100 days in office
  • ...and getting to see 2010. :D   

...from a first look at Disney's "Rapunzel"

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I've been slacking on the review front and my take on The Princess and The Frog will be up tomorrow. But, to tide you over, here's a look at 2010's "Rapunzel". The film stars Mandy Moore as the famous long-locked princess and Chuck's Zachary Levi as the dashing bandit/love interest. The synopsis is as follows:

Rapunzel, an action-packed, swashbuckling, animated musical comedy about the girl behind 70 feet of magical, golden hair. A princess stolen from her parents’ castle as a baby, Rapunzel (voice of Mandy Moore) is locked in a hidden tower longing for adventure. Now an imaginative and determined teenager, she takes off on a hilarious, hair-raising escapade with the help of a dashing bandit (voice of Zachary Levi). With the secret of her royal heritage hanging in the balance and her captor in pursuit, Rapunzel and her cohort find adventure, heart, humor, and hair… lots of hair.

Rapunzel will continue in the footsteps of The Frog, adding the first CGI princess to the official Disney Princess line up of Pocahontas, Aurora (Sleeping Beauty), Snow White, Cinderella, Mulan, Ariel (The Little Mermaid), Jasmine (Aladdin), Belle (Beauty and The Beast), and Tiana (The Princess and The Frog).

"Almost There" - Anika Noni Rose (Tiana)

...from "A V A T A R"

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Wow. That's kinda my one word review for James Cameron's "Avatar". The hype has been building up for quite some time. James Cameron made this huge deal about not making this movie at the time that he wrote it because of the limited technology that was available. And now it's like:

"We have the technology. We can film it"


Okay, I know that was whack (note to self: No more "Six-Million Dollar Man" references). But, it did take like mad goo gobs of years to produce the technological monstrosity that is Avatar. The plot revolves around ex-marine Jake Sully (rising star Sam Worthington), a war-made cripple whose scientist twin brother dies, leaving open the ultimate job opportunity: to explore the vast, lush world of Pandora. Under the beautiful nature of Pandora lies a precious mineral with the fiction stock name of unobtainium. For this reason, space miners from Earth have come to harvest the mineral from the land.

Jake, among others, take over genetically altered avatar bodies to gain the trust of the indigenous population of blue humanoids, the Na'vi. He're where things get "Pocahontas-y", Jake meets the Na'vi's princess (the lovely Zoe Saldana) and falls in love. Lines are blurred and crossed in this epic space adventure that features gorgeous environments, fantastic creatures, and an old school villain reminiscent of the today's oil economy.

The special effects in this movie are just amazing. Cameron visually assaults you with the bright and colorful wildlife and agriculture of Pandora. The real kicker that packs Avatar's punch is the new motion capture technology that is used effectively in the film. The facial markers that help transfer the actor's real emotions onto the animated character is what really puts this film above the likes of Disney's recent motion capture venture A Christmas Carol.

The only downside was the recycled plot. But hey, even Hollywood has to go green at times. The whole movie did have a familiar vibe to it. The story's just been done, yet it works well beside fantastic performances by Sigourney Weaver and CCH Pounder (among others), uber effects, and a really nice theme by my favorite singer Leona Lewis. Another factor that benefited the film was its star Sam Worthington. I swear this guys gonna be the big thing in the 2010s. He's in like everything now and if he keeps giving us performances like this, I don't have a problem with it.

Avatar is proof that even though it's been 12 years since Titanic, Cameron hasn't lost his touch. Maybe if he wasn't such a b-word, we'd see more great films like this without the huge time gap. 4/5


"Thanator Chase"



...from MTV's current relavence and "Moonlight"

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I hate MTV. I really do I can't stand it. Now don't get me wrong, I used to love MTV back when it was Music Television. Now it's BSTV. No explanation needed.


Not that we didn't see the early signs of this when The Real World entered its 15th season, but hey. I remember when the actually played music on this so called "Music Television", not just 24 hours of stupid. I am one of few people in my demographic who haven't been sucked into the realm of retarded that is reality television. And I believe that MTV should have an entire week dedicated to it's old programming.

I'm talking:
  • TRL: Total Request Live
  • MTV Unplugged
  • Undressed
  • Undergrads
  • Jackass
  • Cribs
  • Daria
  • Æon Flux
  • The Maxx
  • Beavis & Butthead
Is it too much to ask for MTV to be decent and watchable again. I mean, seriously! JERSEY SHORE???! I wanna punch that Snookie chick. She sounds a characters from "the Snorks". Just take a good look at yourself, MTV. Daria and Jane would call you pathetic. *deep breath* There, rant's over.

Speaking of DARIA though, I have been watching the entire series for the past few days and it's bringing back nostalgic memories of MTV's glorious past. It kinda makes you yearn for the televised adolescent stimulation of yesteryear.

Well, in other news...

I've been working on a story for a while now, and it's just getting up and running in script form. It's called Moonlight and it's not patented so I'm not going to reveal story points. But, I can tell you that lycanthropy has a lot to do with it.

Here's an old MTV bumper featuring Cyndi Lauper and David Bowie. *I'm tearing up*

...from 2009's best and worst films.

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Here's my picks for the top 10 best (mainstream) films of the year:

10. "Monsters vs. Aliens" (DreamWorks)
-An amazing voice cast leads a long list of compliments for what is, in my opinion, on of the top 3 DreamWorks animated features.

09. "Zombieland" (Sony Pictures)
-It's very rare that you find a movie that can balance good comedy and gore the way 2009's most unlikely breakout hit did. A sequel is definitely on the way.

08. "Up" (Disney/Pixar)
-This one had a lot to live up to as Disney/Pixar's first 3D venture. The innocent childish comedy mixed with some of the most mature themes ever in a Pixar production made 'Up' a critical success.

07. "Star Trek" (Paramount)
-I don't know one person who thought that JJ Abrams reboot of the historic sci-fi franchise would be the financial and critical success it was. With a excellent young cast and a story that pleased both newcomers and longtime fans, this 'Trek' was certainly a fruitful one.

06. "(500) Days of Summer" (Fox Searchlight)
-Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel lead this hilarious look at a anti-love story about a hopeless romantic and the girl who just wants to be friends.

05. "District 9" (TriStar)
-The best sci-fi movie since Spielberg's 'A.I.: Artificial Intelligence'; an original story if there ever was one, aliens being kept in the slums of South Africa paints a very allegoric picture of apartheid in Africa.

04. "Watchmen" (Warner Bros)
-The best adaptation that will ever be made of the greatest graphic novel in history. Zack Snyder of '300' fame directs trouble super heroes in a drastically altered 1985 New York City.

03. "Where The Wild Things Are" (Warner Bros/Paramount)
-How Spike Jonez and David Eegers adapted a book with nine sentences into a two-hour movie is beyond me. But, they managed to give the 1963 storybook a heartbreaking dramatic edge while retaining the childlike magic of Maurice Sendak's children's book.

02. "The Princess and The Frog" (Walt Disney Pictures)
-FINALLY! Disney backs away from Hannah Montana and Pixar to gives us a dose of what made us fall in love with them in the first place. Set in 1920s jazz-dipped New Orleans, Tiana kisses a frog and goes on one of Disney's most enchanting adventures since 'The Lion King'.

01. "Inglorious Basterds" (Universal)
-Tarantino does it again in his war film set in an alternate WWII era where Brad Pitt collects Nazi scalps.

...and the worst:

10. "Obsessed" (Sony Pictures)
-Watch the trailer, then skip to the end. That's all you need to see.

09. "Terminator: Salvation" (Warner Bros/Columbia)
-McG just can stop running franchises into the ground. But hey, it introduced America to who is sure to be the definitive action star of the 2010s, Sam Worthington.

08. "Dance Flick" (Paramount)
-The Wayans Brothers haven't had a hit in years and this mess just added to the load of B.S. that they've put out in the past few years.

07. "Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen" (DreamWorks)
-Megan Fox did a far better job in 'Jennifer's Body', first of all. But, muddled special effects, a mediocre storyline, and being totally inappropriate for the target demographic are just a few complaints from this critic.

06. "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" (Paramount)
-Summer action blockbuster usually make up for tacky acting, bad plots, and horrible dialogue with fantastic special effects. 'G.I. Joe' did not.

05. "The Final Destination" (New Line Cinema)
-Talk about taking a tired franchise and wearing it out more. The exact same plot as the others with horrible gore effects made this the must-ignore horror flick of the year.

04. "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" (20th Century Fox)
-This adaptation was was kidded down version of a completely adult story; it was plagued with continuity issues, plot holes, and the jacked up Deadpool!

03. "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" (Summit Entertainment)
-Shirtless vampire, shirtless werewolves, cardboard performances by the actors and a length that made me want to jump off that cliff.

02. "Dragonball Evolution" (20th Century Fox)
-Doesn't even deserve to exist. Thank You Fox, for raping my childhood.

01. "Paranormal Activity" (DreamWorks)
-Too much hype from people who are scared of their own shadow. Walked out of the movie theater feeling VERY homicidal.


Honorary Mention - Best:
-Sherlock Holmes - pretty good
-Avatar - fantastic

Honorary Mention - Worst:
-Battle for Terra - unbearable
-Everything that The Asylum put out this year - abomination

Now, I leave you with a great vid by someone with crazy time on their hands. This is '2009 in Review: Cinema"! Sayonara!

...from religious ickiness, boredom, and Trey Songz.

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Yeah...I can't sleep. So, I decided to blog some more. I ,for one, think that I am off to a fan-friggin'-tastic start.


So, about that post title:

So, apparently God hates Lady Gaga (courtesy of those nutbags from Westboro [God hates fags...etc]). That's new to me. I have always been brought up in the belief that God doesn't hate anybody.

But, could I be wrong? I'm not the most super-religious person, but I'm pretty sure that performance art and supporting a cause (even if it's to help the gays) is not a sin. I could go on, but I won't. Take this how you want to. This pic is courtesy of the Phelps clan.

...and onto boredom:

I'm at my bud Harold's and we have succumb to a boredom that can only be described as a crime against nature. I am also being subjected to the inhuman torture that is the music of Trey Songz.

Apparently, he invented sex. That's a large feat for someone who's not even old enough to rent a car. So, while I listen to the next generation's R. Kelly, you can treat yourself to the Muppets performing a hilarious version of the Queen hit, 'Bohemian Rhapsody':

...from the first post.

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Hey peeps! I kinda got this blog because Twitter was starting to irritate me. I mean, there's nothing wrong with Twitters at all. It's just that I talk. A LOT. About a lot o' shit. Like mad goo gobs of shit. And it's kinda hard for me to get my thoughts out in 140 characters.


This is where my new friend Blogger comes in. He came along and said:
"I don't stop at 140 characters. Go. To. Fucking. Town."

Haha, anyway...

The layout of my blog is pretty much as follows:
  • The blog is titled BLACULA'S GOT CRABS because it was the most random shit at the moment.
  • Every new post with be titled after what specifically Blacula got the itchy crustaceans from.
  • There'll be cool updates from the utopia of interesting mind poop that comes from my head, the occasional movie review (haha I'm kidding....YOU WILL BE BOMBARDED WITH MOVIE REVIEWS), and YouTube shit.
That's about it... So au revoir!

I leave you with the number 5 YouTube vid of ALL TIME ! ! ! . . . 'Harry Potter Puppet Pals'.